It's been a while.
Today I met with some new, rather lovely mums I've met through Williams pre school. We talked about many things and the topic of blogging arose. I talked about my blog. Blogging and the world I seem to pop in and out of. Never hanging around too long before creeping away, only to be reeled back in.
I read my previous posts and realised the reason. This blog is no longer for me. I will never delete it but feel things have changed so much, I've changed so much it's time to start over. A new me, a new blog.
I remember feeling the way I did but still can't believe how overwhelming the emotions were. I am now so in love with both my beautiful boys it's difficult to comprehend feeling how I did back then.
Life is still incredibly demanding and can be pretty tough but the difference now is I get so much back. William with his incredible ability to turn every situation into an exciting adventure. Drawing us all into his amazing imaginary world. I see so much of myself in him, the good the bad and the ugly. He helps me correct the aspects of me I'm not so keen on and fills me with pride when he displays the acts of kindness and goodwill, I work so hard to instill in him.
Thomas has come on in leaps and bounds too. He still has problems with glue ear which remains the root cause for most of the stress in the house but with the bond we were missing for so long, firmly back we now understand each other. We have developed unique ways of communicating and with consistency and hard work he is beginning to understand the confusing world he is part of. He now knows he is loved and in return let's us know he loves us too. He is on the waiting list for grommits and we hope this will improve things further.
He is growing into a very beautiful, funny and bright little boy. I am incredibly proud of him. He has had a difficult start but shows determination of spirit in everything he does. Every day he makes me laugh. He pushes me to the edge too but he makes me smile and melts my heart.
As for this blog. I really think this is the end of the road. I hope to see you all again when we're up and running on our brand new blog but until then I wish you well and thank you all for reading ....x x