Toilet Training Our Way

William is 22 months and nearly two weeks ago I took the decision to start our toilet training journey.  Having feared this part of toddler hood for as long as I can remember, I can now say it wasn't as bad as I'de imagined.  I have been told many times that all children are different so wanted to share my positive experience.  Not to gloat.  I'm not like that.  I am well aware things could change at any minute but I wanted to give other parents about to embark, some reassurance that it is not always to be feared.

I'm a toilet training virgin, so am definitely no expert but as always choose to do things my own way with the guidance of my fabulous sister and the support of some lovely ladies, to name but a few, The Boy and Me, Two Point Four Children and Cafe Bebe,

For the six months running up to D-day I tried to prepare William for what was coming. At any given opportunity he escorted us all to the toilet and watched us go about our business.  He then took great pleasure at popping his head around the door and telling anyone who cared to listen exactly what he'de witnessed, "Yay Mummy Poo" or "Daddy Wee".  He would then return to flush the loo and wash his hands.    From time to time he'de ask to sit on the loo and simulated the plop noise of poo hitting the water or god forbid push your bottom forward to take a peep for himself.   All a bit embarrassing but never the less it seemed to help him develop and understanding, so I stuck with it.

The night before D-Day I tried to explain to William what was going to happen.  I talked about not wearing nappies and having pants.  I'm not sure anything went in but it felt like the right thing to do.  I had decided not to use a potty instead opting for a Baby Bjorn Toilet Trainer and stool. Comfortable and secure William had no concerns about sitting on it.

I can not recommend this seat enough

Next morning as promised I removed his nappy, which as normal, was still dry.  I took him to the toilet and popped him on the seat whilst trying to explain the new way of doing things. To his delight I had filled the shelf with books so he was more than happy to sit on board and wait for the inevitable whilst mummy read a story.

After 12 hours of not weeing, it didn't take long before a little trickle started to appear.  I was so excited I squealed, William gleamed with pride and the wee abruptly stopped.  "surely that's not it?" I thought but being new to it all it helped him off and slipped his new teeny tiny pants on. Of course that was not it and 5 minutes later came the first of many accidents.  I soon learnt not to get excited until William had finished weeing so as not to interrupt the flow.  Instead we both did big Cheshire cat grins until he'd finished at which point we clapped and I encouraged William to say "I did it"

Breakfast came and went and I kept taking him to and from the toilet, but nothing.  Then at about 10.00 the accidents really started, one after the other.  There seemed to be wee everywhere and I began to question whether he was ready.  It was at this point I changed my tactics.  I decided to leave it longer between taking him so he didn't get frustrated, regulate his drinking times so I could better judge when he needed to go and spend longer periods in the loo trying to encourage him to go.

I honestly felt like I spent two days in the loo and stunk of wee but I was determined to keep going.  William delighted at watching the wee come out, so kept showing me his little fellow mid stream often spraying me  or the rest of the bathroom.  We read books, played games, sang and even played with Mummy's Stickers, anything to distract him and keep his little bottom firmly on the seat.

Very tiring but rewarding none the less.  If he tried to have a tantrum which he did at times, I did not panic about upsetting him or putting him of using the toilet.  I explained his behaviour was not acceptable and used the time out cushion as I would with any other tantrum.  It did the trick and he soon realised mummy was serious and it was better to cooperate and read stories than hang out on the cushions.

Day three I ventured out, only as far as the coffee shop at the end of the road but naively I thought we'de cracked it.  In hindsight a bit presumptuous, the outing ended with a rather large poo and a John Wayne walk home as Mummy was completely unprepared.

Day four something changed.  William kept asking to go to the loo and although unable to differentiate between wee and poo he was getting the idea.  It was his first completely dry day.  I felt really encouraged so decided to venture out again on day five, this time to buy a folding toilet seat for on the go.

My OH and I went together to our local retail park which only has six shops, including, boots, M&S and Mothercare so it should have been ok. Well I couldn't have been more wrong, it was a disaster.  Although we didn't have any accidents, we were utterly fraught and I managed to drop William in the loo in M&S as none of the shops had the seat I was after.  I was disgusted at how dirty the loos were and just wanted to go home.

What the day before highlighted was that I needed to get organised.  If William was not going to use a potty he definitely needed a toilet seat as I don't have the strength to hold him over the loo.  The next day we ventured out again and with a new positive attitude and our new Cushi Traveller Toilet Seat in tow, outdoor adventures were suddenly achievable.

Our Life Line for Out and About

With indoor and outdoors pretty much conquered William had his first day at nursery today without a nappy.   Although he's dry at home it was going to be  huge challenge for him to tell the staff he needed to go and to get used to their toilets.  He exceeded my expectations and only had two accidents.  When he got home he immediately told me he needed a poo and went straight to the loo.  Later he even asked to get out of the bath with Daddy to have a wee.  I was so proud I nearly cried.

So that's our story so far.  Like I said before I'm no expert.  I don't necessarily think there's a right or wrong way of toilet training but for me my way worked.  I have been hideously sick throughout the whole of this pregnancy so I think William has thrived on the attention from me and this has no doubt helped in our quest.  It has been hard work, I've felt like i've stunk of wee and at times I nearly gave up.  But with help and support of all you lovely mummies I can genuinely say it was no where near as bad as I imagined, so thank you

This is how you do it!

My Top Tips

1. Skip the Potty. Personally I would always opt to skip the potty as I can't see the point in training them twice.  I fully appreciate however that they work for many people and this is just personal preference
2. Clear a week in your diary and be prepared to stay in for a few days.
3. Be Open. Allowing William to watch and learn and get familiar with the toilet seat and pants prior to D-day helped him prepare for what was to come
4. Be consistent - I think it's important that children understand what is expected of them and that the goal posts do not move.  Once you start don't go back and be firm if you have to, not in a harsh way but they can quickly manipulate you if you let them. 
5. Be organised.  Buy pants and toilet seats etc before you start
6. Make it fun - Read books, play games and sing songs to pass the time.
7. Be prepared for setbacks.  I haven't got this far yet but am a realist and know they're sure to come

If you're thinking about starting toilet training all I can say is go for it.  If you are all ready for a challenge it might not be as bad as you're expecting and if it is, there is more advice and support out there than you ever could've imagined..........Good Luck!

Donna.............x